Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
