i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there