She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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