She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and she was petting her beer can
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
