Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
