I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
