I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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