what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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