Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
