Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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