ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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