Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
