Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
