My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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