some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize