i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.