Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sry I called you an 8

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  (248): Sry I called you an 8 http://tfl.nu/qhuo
  Replies (5) Good night (1264) Bad night (1986)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

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  (504): insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us. http://tfl.nu/mwl1
  Replies (20) Good night (4825) Bad night (1039)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

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  (404): It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more. http://tfl.nu/2mzd
  Replies (17) Good night (1487) Bad night (7970)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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  (413): I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick. http://tfl.nu/84fo
  Replies (15) Good night (2168) Bad night (6716)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  Best pick-up line ever!

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  (806): You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever! http://tfl.nu/plrf
  Replies (35) Good night (10018) Bad night (1420)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes

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  (917): Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes http://tfl.nu/vn7y
  Replies (16) Good night (1093) Bad night (4567)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?

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  (+44): Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/0o8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4176) Bad night (828)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

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  (903): We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer? http://tfl.nu/09oa
  Replies (2) Good night (1472) Bad night (737)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

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  (630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux
  Replies (1) Good night (1367) Bad night (597)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.

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  (704): Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox. http://tfl.nu/wyx0
  Replies (18) Good night (1481) Bad night (3808)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?

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  (505): Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away? http://tfl.nu/yzva
  Replies (4) Good night (2043) Bad night (610)
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  (818): View more from California

  idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations

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  (818): idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations http://tfl.nu/k8zk
  Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (484)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome! 

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  (330): At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!  http://tfl.nu/byi2
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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  (862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg
  Replies (7) Good night (1290) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?

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  (262): Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore? http://tfl.nu/hk51
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (439)

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