that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode