Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.

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  (607): so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class. http://tfl.nu/dhq5
  Replies (50) Good night (635) Bad night (4641)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.

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  (315): I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine. http://tfl.nu/wyxo
  Replies (9) Good night (4856) Bad night (931)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (4566)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

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  (970): I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not. http://tfl.nu/wxss
  Replies (19) Good night (7396) Bad night (885)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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  (318): No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair. http://tfl.nu/ztjm
  Replies (10) Good night (1379) Bad night (3737)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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  (775): It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/xv2l
  Replies (11) Good night (2031) Bad night (1505)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3274) Bad night (959)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.

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  (859): No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks. http://tfl.nu/8h7o
  Replies (9) Good night (2080) Bad night (841)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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  (608): All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college. http://tfl.nu/h1fv
  Replies (0) Good night (1778) Bad night (723)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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  (905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2
  Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (472)
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  (310): View more from California

  I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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  (310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (514)
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  (818): View more from California

  So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

  (323): View more from California

  Gross

  (818): View more from California

  AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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  (818): So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth (323): Gross (818): AN ACTUAL PICKLE http://tfl.nu/hdiy
  Replies (7) Good night (1843) Bad night (515)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.

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  (502): I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this. (502): Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward. http://tfl.nu/u5vx
  Replies (11) Good night (1948) Bad night (370)
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for

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  (475): So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for http://tfl.nu/xgsz
  Replies (9) Good night (1325) Bad night (244)
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  (916): View more from California

  Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.

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  (916): Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand. http://tfl.nu/j2wp
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (384)

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