so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night