This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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