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Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
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