I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
