if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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