I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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