is your mom at the bar?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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