I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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