Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
