so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
