I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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