the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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