That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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