yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
