I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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