He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
