So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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