I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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