New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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