oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am