no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
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Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.