Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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