We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
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What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life