i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
