He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???