Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
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I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.