Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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