How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think your dad took our porno
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize