I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My dick has a subreddit
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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