Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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