Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
