How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
