i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
