butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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