hell yes lets make some ravioli
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
