I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
