Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
