TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
