Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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