The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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