i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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