its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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