C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
