you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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