I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
