jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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