Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
