So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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