YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
