we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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