i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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