Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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