you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
