you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
