i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
