so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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