his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
