How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
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We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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