nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
