Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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