flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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