do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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